I Am... The Chosen One.

I don’t think I’ve ever said ‘Fuck’ so many times coming out of an exam. So today i had my physics exam, and to be completely honest, i was quietly confident.  However, Edexcel have a massive dick.

And they raped me with it. 

So let me paint you a picture, so i’m sitting in the exam when all of a sudden, on the first question, a massive dick appears! And i tried to stop it, i really did, but i couldn’t. It was too big. It was too strong. And that’s when it attacked me.

In my anus.

I couldn’t do anything but take it. It wasn’t nice. And then it came all over my face. That wasn’t nice either. 

Fuck you Edexcel and your hard ass physics exam.

So, it’s May, and my first exam is in a matter of days. So my Mother has  taken immediate action in trying to get me to revise by taking my iPod. This has proved fairly effective. Now at the start, naturally, i objected but i knew resistance was futile. So the days went by and i was taking it on the chin, you know, i could still tweet and facebook from my laptop so it was all good.

Until i came home from school one day, and my hair was looking rather… Quifftastic. So i thought i’d take a picture, and Instagram my face. But instead i was greeted with the harsh reality of, no iPod.

NO INSTAGRAM. I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT INSTAGRAM. Literally, the worst thing about not having my iPod right now, is not being able to take pictures of myself.

So the other day i was confronted with a little boy, and no, it’s not like that… You filthy, filthy person. I was at my cousin’s house, and he’s about Seven, i don’t know, i don’t really care. But he had many toys, and one that particularly caught my eye was an Optimus Prime toy. Now i feel it’s time for me to tell you that i absolutely fucking hate Transformer toys. The fucking pieces of shit.
Firstly, they fucking take ages to change from Robot to Vehicle. And the piece of shit parts are so fucking fragile, that when i try to change them (with my humongous biceps) they end up breaking. Causing the boy to cry. Getting me into trouble.
And secondly, there isn’t really a second reason. I just fucking hate those piece of shits. I mean, fuck me. Never before have I felt an irrational hatred towards a toy.  

Fucking piece of shit. 

So here i am, sitting at my desk, thinking about what to write when all of a sudden i find myself typing away. I think i’m getting carried away. I really should stop. STOP. STOP AADAM…. There i sto-

So over the years I’ve been that kid that felt that they needed a different name, something cooler, something awesome, something unprecedented. And i successfully came up with 9 names. In Chronological order: 

1. Geezer 2x4
2. Ace
3. The Neutral Shadower
4. Cup Cake Kid
5. The Extreme Kiwi
6. Anonymous Cookie
7. Aadamisagmankaka
8. HoodieHarry127
9. Doubleadam

and the name that most people throughout high school called me.. “Gay”.

Now out of these my favourites/most used are 1,4,6,7, and 9.

Now for how these names came about:

Geezer 2x4 (Pronounced Geezer 2 by 4): I really don’t know. Let’s just say i was a cool kid.
Ace: There was a really cool TV Show where the main character was called Ace, i felt i was in need a name as cool as that.
The Neutral Shadower: I needed a change and along with the joint efforts of Charlie Barton aka Chazzie B, we came up with this.
Cup Cake Kid: I really like cup cakes.
The Extreme Kiwi: I really have no idea.
Anonymous Cookie: One day in science i was struck with pure genius.. and that’s how the Anonymous Cookie was born.
Aadamisagmankaka: This is probably the most popular of all the names purely because i wrote it all over everyone’s books and stuff. Origin was that i am, in fact a G Man… kaka.
HoodieHarry127: Just don’t even go there.
Doubleadam: Its how to spell my name :) Double A (Aa) dam (dam) Aadam.